Same ol’ new year
Happy New Year! Time to reflect on the last 365 days and then overhaul our lives completely by the end of the next 365. It’s a silly tradition: shallow promises to ourselves with the stamina of a month or two if we’re lucky. Going on a diet, exercising, quitting alcohol (for good this time). Maybe you’ll start making your bed and doing the dishes regularly. Perhaps you’ll switch to oat milk to cut the calories and fat of dairy and, in the process, annoy every barista you encounter. The truth is, we could have done any of this at any point. Instead, we put it off until some arbitrary starting line, only to watch our newfound motivation crumble by February.
Ikigai & Kaizen by Anthony Raymond, a book I just read on Japanese-inspired personal development, turns the word Lingchi (death by a thousand cuts) into a brilliant analogy for life. If you’re living an existence you’re less than enthusiastic about, I’m willing to bet it wasn’t one colossal, stupid mistake. More likely, it was an accumulation of little stupid mistakes and laziness over a long stretch of time.
So, how do we change course? Waiting for an imaginary starting point is just adding another cut, and setting giant goals will only burn you out. What you fucked up over several years won’t repair itself overnight. Tiny, bite-sized goals will be your new “life by a thousand stitches,” mending the cuts that wore your life down to mediocrity.
Finding your Ikigai (purpose) is also essential to making changes stick. If you’re motivated only by ego or peer pressure, you’ll end up unfulfilled and disenchanted. A life of one-upmanship is a miserable one. Knowing why you get out of bed in the morning isn’t something to take for granted. Honestly, think about it. I don’t believe many people ever confront that question, and it’s a freaking scary one. I wrestle with it often. My favorite flavor of Ikigai is ever-changing goals and purposes, which fits my life and philosophies best. Ephemeral purposes aren’t any less important or significant, and moving the carrot at the end of your stick now and then doesn’t mean you’re wandering aimlessly. Never dwell on a thing once you’ve poured your heart and spirit into it. Whether it worked out splendidly or crashed and burned, the only move is forward with the knowledge and skills you gained.
Another approach is to reverse engineer your desired outcome. What do you want to look like by New Year’s Eve? More important, how do you want to feel? Less stressed, happier, healthier? How do you get to that version of yourself? What do you need to add or, more likely, what baggage do you need to drop? Or zoom out even further and picture your whole life as a book or movie. What’s the pivotal plot twist that ignites your ferocious comeback? And if this were your last year on earth, how would you live differently?
There are many ways to approach the new year. Goals are good, but so is an overall theme, like “Tenacity” or “Fearlessness.” Find a battle cry and attack everything with that passion. The bottom line is that change is hard and scary, and it’s also necessary. Growth comes from feeding your head good material and having new experiences. Your body won’t perform well without exercise and with a diet of shitty food, and your brain won’t either if all you feed it is social media and fear-baiting news. If you never break your routines, you’ll never get out of your rut. Do something you’re terrified of! Push way out of your comfort zone. Life is a short, ever-changing, chaotic ride, so put your best foot forward, and don’t wait another year to take action. Make 2025 your bitch!
“Knowledge is power, and it can help you overcome any fear of the unexpected. When you learn, you gain more awareness through the process, and you know what pitfalls to look for as you get ready to transition to the next level.”
“The ticket to victory often comes down to bringing your very best when you’re feeling your worst.”
“How we pay attention to the present moment determines the character of our experience and the quality of our lives.”
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret to getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks and then starting on the first one.”
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything — anger, anxiety, or possessions — we cannot be free.”
